I have often heard the complaint "I am not living for others" most often in the context of an unpleasant comment (or right critique) that had been made. The irony is that we want the "other" for the praise and adulation but not the critique. While I will admit that there is a shade of truth in the statement, it is not "true enough" (to borrow the phrase a professor would tell us) to be a "foundational" statement to build our principles of social relations.
Our unwillingness to acknowledge the influence of the "others" in our lives will in no way lessen the reality of their existence and the manner in which they relate to us. For instance, I may not live for others and pursue my own wild dream, but that does not negate or nullify the sound judgment of others who would want me to "tame" it a little. What I as a person could do with that complaint (that I don't live for them) is to attempt to rob the others of the opportunity to share their wisdom with me. And maybe, just a maybe, someone may have the exact right words that need to be heard whether pleasant or otherwise. And isn't that's how experience (our act) and knowledge (their wisdom) lead to the process of maturing? Therefore the frequent, habitual complaint that we live for ourselves and not for others is a reflection of poor judgment. It is a selfish claim which shuts the doors for others without a second thought; an attitude that does not want any sort of correction much less a reprimand where it may be fit. It is an expression of a narrow self-seeking outlook which seeks space for itself exclusively; one that almost seem to say "if you don't appreciate me, you have no right to be near me" and therefore any "supposedly perceived" hint of being unappreciated (including timely appropriate critique) is met with hostility.
While we may not live for we still do live with others. And in this "with" resides rubbing of shoulders with others, which implies being sensitive to and heedful of others. Yes, live your dreams, pursue after it, don't give up, make your life count, leave behind a print. However, in the pursuit be kind to everyone who comes along the way. Some may turn out to be "drags" (and so probably the frustration and the complaint, or maybe we are just being plain lazy), but there will be others who will be the "wind" that keeps us flying and the "friction" that helps us remain steady. Live wisely! Live well!
Our unwillingness to acknowledge the influence of the "others" in our lives will in no way lessen the reality of their existence and the manner in which they relate to us. For instance, I may not live for others and pursue my own wild dream, but that does not negate or nullify the sound judgment of others who would want me to "tame" it a little. What I as a person could do with that complaint (that I don't live for them) is to attempt to rob the others of the opportunity to share their wisdom with me. And maybe, just a maybe, someone may have the exact right words that need to be heard whether pleasant or otherwise. And isn't that's how experience (our act) and knowledge (their wisdom) lead to the process of maturing? Therefore the frequent, habitual complaint that we live for ourselves and not for others is a reflection of poor judgment. It is a selfish claim which shuts the doors for others without a second thought; an attitude that does not want any sort of correction much less a reprimand where it may be fit. It is an expression of a narrow self-seeking outlook which seeks space for itself exclusively; one that almost seem to say "if you don't appreciate me, you have no right to be near me" and therefore any "supposedly perceived" hint of being unappreciated (including timely appropriate critique) is met with hostility.
While we may not live for we still do live with others. And in this "with" resides rubbing of shoulders with others, which implies being sensitive to and heedful of others. Yes, live your dreams, pursue after it, don't give up, make your life count, leave behind a print. However, in the pursuit be kind to everyone who comes along the way. Some may turn out to be "drags" (and so probably the frustration and the complaint, or maybe we are just being plain lazy), but there will be others who will be the "wind" that keeps us flying and the "friction" that helps us remain steady. Live wisely! Live well!
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